9.22.2004

Margaret Cho on Martha Stewart:

Pie crust was vitally important to the state of the pie, therefore the arduous labor put into the creation of one was nothing to complain about. The very thought of a rolling pin makes my carpal tunnel ache and pop. I couldn't ever do any of this. If I ever bought a gift for anyone in the first place, it generally comes in the bag it was purchased in, usually slightly wrinkled because it has been sitting in my car for three days. The receipt is always in there, as an accent piece, and in case you want to return it, the same reason why I leave the price tag on. I think if I ever made anything for one of my friends, like brought over jars of homemade grapefruit-cilantro sea salt body scrub or gooseberry-chanterelle mushroom marmalade, that I would be looked at with intense superstition and careful questioning about my use of crystal methamphetamine. . . .

If she was a bitch, who cares? If she was a mean boss, so what? There are a million and more mean bosses. Lots of people don't take to power very well, and yet if you imprisoned all those who abused their position, you would have more people in jail than out. If she was guilty of insider trading, why do we care? Her greed doesn't affect me in the least, besides being an example of a bad woman. Perhaps that was what was too expensive. If letting Martha off meant condoning capitalist greed for women, then of course she would have to serve time.
--Elizabeth


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