12.02.2004

YES YES WHAT IS OUR CHILDREN LEARNING?, or,

IF AMERICANS ARE THIS DUMB, NO WONDER BUSH WON
(second title submitted with the following item by an alert reader!)
From a Washington Post story about abstinence-only education - this is the kicker paragraph:

Some course materials cited in Waxman's report present as scientific fact notions about a man's need for "admiration" and "sexual fulfillment" compared with a woman's need for "financial support." One book in the "Choosing Best" series tells the story of a knight who married a village maiden instead of the princess because the princess offered so many tips on slaying the local dragon. "Moral of the story," notes the popular text: "Occasional suggestions and assistance may be alright, but too much of it will lessen a man's confidence or even turn him away from his princess."
Right, yes, of course, the moral: No one wants to marry a harpie when they can beat a virgin. Hmmm...I am genuinely surprised that the last sentence doesn't say "turn him INTO a princess..." you'd think they'd be clever enough to get a shot at everyone, no?

Cost-saving idea: Why not just hand out single sheets of paper to the boys that say "VAGINA DENTATA," and leave the girls sitting in a dark classroom with the door shut? Why, it's the same outcome, and it's cheap cheap cheap! More money for tax refunds and gun rebates!

I do believe I have found my calling ... as an abstinence-only "sex educator." Faith-based initiators....call me! My number's still (212) FUCK-YOU.

-Lauren


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